an invitation to hate women

Trigger Warning

The following is quoted from Robert Jensen’s book Getting Off p 117-118.

“It’s hard not to go from these observations [about pornography] to a simple question: Do men hate women?

The question doesn’t suggest that every single man hates every single woman. Instead, we are asking whether there is something in the culture that makes woman-hating inviting. I don’t have an answer. But Bill Margold, a longtime pornography performer and producer with a reputation in the industry as a renegade willing to be blunt, does. Margold believes pornography is relatively harmless, but he also acknowledges an ugly side to the business. He doesn’t mince words in his analysis of what Stagliano called “a psychology which I don’t think is healthy.”

My whole reason for being in the Industry is to satisfy the desire of the men in the world who basically don’t much care for women and want to see the men in my Industry getting even with the women they couldn’t have when they were growing up. I strongly believe this and the Industry hates me for saying it… So we come on a woman’s face or somewhat brutalize her sexuality: we’re getting even for their lost dreams. I believe this. I’ve heard audiences cheer me when I do something foul on screen. When I’ve strangled a person or sodomized a person, or brutalized a person, the audience is cheering my action, and then when I’ve fulfilled my warped desire, the audience applauds.”

I’m getting burnt out reading about the pornography/prostitution industries lately. I think it’s time for a break from this topic soon, because it is one of the most difficult for me to face, as a woman.

The exceptionally hard fact is that the men in my life (and in yours) are using hard core, brutal, woman-hating pornography. Not every man uses it, and there are degrees of usage. But the majority of men use it, and don’t tell their partners. As one fellow put it to Hugo Schwyzer, “women go ballistic when you tell them the truth.”

In Jensen’s book, he relates a personal narrative. He states that after having done research on pornography (by watching it), he finds himself seeing women as objects for several days or weeks afterward. He tries to stay away from women during this time, because he needs to decompress (p 112-113). He recognizes this as a negative side effect of viewing the material.

If a researcher doing a project on porn has this reaction, how much more do the men using porn for their own satisfaction (and also orgasming to it) have this reaction?

That means that my boss, and the guy with the owl tattoo at the grocery store, and my brother, and the president, and the security guy in the hallway, and your instructor, your father-in-law, your kid’s coach, the Easter bunny at the mall, your partner, the bank teller, the plumber under your sink, your counselor… these men are using the type of degrading pornography that serves as anti-woman propaganda.

To borrow an idea, Shrodinger’s porn user is any man I meet during the course of the day. He’s turning in the form to me while thinking about the disgusting things he watched last night on his internet screen, or he’s the lost student who wonders while I give him directions whether I have the same haircut as the woman he fantasized about jizzing on this morning.

I don’t know which men are using it, and so all of them appear threatening to me.

This is the world we live in. These are the men who hate us.

About smash
Women's liberationist.

10 Responses to an invitation to hate women

  1. nuclearnight says:

    It was really difficult when I started delving into learning about pornography. Things have gotten more bearable over time but the distrust of men has never gone away. With all of the abuse I’ve been through at the hands of men nothing really opened me up for how bad it is until I started analyzing the porn industry.

    Just thought I’d share that I went through the same thing (am still going through it?) and understand, its really rough to face how disposable women have become.

  2. sipiy says:

    When this book first came out I wanted to give it to a young male of my acquaintance and I was really happy to have this “explanatory” help to get across to him what porn is, but I was soon deflated on that idea, because I knew he would read the descriptions AS porn not about porn, and be aroused by it. And that’s generally the problem with these things. The liberal feminists and the MRAs they hang with use the books the same way they use porn movies.

    I think that’s what’s behind the discussions about sex and porn on the lefty blogs. There’s this pretense that they’re being all so studious and analytical about the ISHOOt, but really it’s just wank time and titillating and teasing it out with the funfems. They all KNOW what they’re doing.

    Even when they show these films to college students for “study” purposes and measure their arousal to violent porn, they are off the charts with it.

    • smash says:

      EWW sipiy, I think you’re right. How can they see it as porn though, when it’s so horrific? I don’t even know where to go from here. I don’t.

      Thanks for your comment.

  3. Mary Sunshine says:

    Leave it to males to make themselves more toxic than they already were.

  4. Sargasso Sea says:

    The pornstitution/trafficking research phase of the rad fem journey is probably THE hardest to take whether we’ve been *directly* abused by/with it or not. (Of course all women are abused by porn, but you catch my drift.)

    I mean, we find ourselves searching out RF for solace and understanding, action, because we KNOW that men hate us but to delve into the actual evidence of it is about as de-Moralizing as it gets.

  5. Hecuba says:

    In fact it proves how easy it is for men to dehumanise women and this has been happening for centuries. But of course given women aren’t human men can’t dehumanise us can they? Jensen is right it is very, very easy to become desensitised to the filmed sadistic male sexual violence against women which is to be found in all mainstream porn.

    Jensen is very honest unlike most men who continue to believe women are not human but exist solely to serve men. This is social conditioning which begins the minute a male child is born and the male child swiftly learns his world revolves around him and other males with females of whatever age existing to massage his ego and service his needs.

    Educating males about the realities of porn can be done but it needs to be done in such a way that it does not eroticise the male sexual violence being committed against women. Stop Porn Culture created a specific slideshow for women on the subject of porn and it was done in a very sensitive and non-exploitative manner. This self-same slide show has been adapted for UK usage but of course most women’s organisations in the UK don’t even want to begin to discuss the reality of mainstream pornography and the immense harm this is doing to women and girls.

    I agree it is very hard researching pornography from a real feminist perspective which is why I have a support network to ensure that when I research pornography because I specialise in researching male violence against women, my research does not lead me to ignoring fact I am viewing images of real women and girls and it is real men who are the ones committing this sexual violence;sexual degradation against women.

    Dehumanisation is as I said above, very easy to accept – just keep repeating the lies that women aren’t human; that women are worthless; that men are the centre of the universe and very swiftly such lies become truths.

    Torture of male political prisoners is widely condemned but the deliberate eroticised sexualised torture of women and girls by men is not dominantly viewed as ‘male sexual violence’ but instead is dismissed as ‘fantasy’ or ‘harmless adult entertainment.’ Reason is because male supremacy does not want women to be accorded their fundamental/inherent human rights because this would mean men individually and as a group would be held accountable for their crimes against women.

  6. almostclever says:

    “Torture of male political prisoners is widely condemned but the deliberate eroticised sexualised torture of women and girls by men is not dominantly viewed as ‘male sexual violence’ but instead is dismissed as ‘fantasy’ or ‘harmless adult entertainment.’ Reason is because male supremacy does not want women to be accorded their fundamental/inherent human rights because this would mean men individually and as a group would be held accountable for their crimes against women.”

    Right, in our societies emotional, mental and sexual abuse and degradation of women through the use of porn is called “male bonding” and it is mainstream. Shit, beer commercials degrade women’s humanity, how much more normalized can our abuse be?!?!

  7. SheilaG says:

    No wonder more and more men seem to me to be contaminated, and you just don’t ever want to be around them. Gay men are pretty much porn toxic waste dumps by the time they turn 50, and you know straight men give off the vibe of porn all over the place now. We need to just stay away from these toxic dumps… radio active woman hatred.

  8. doctressjulia says:

    In Jensen’s book, he relates a personal narrative. He states that after having done research on pornography (by watching it), he finds himself seeing women as objects for several days or weeks afterward. He tries to stay away from women during this time, because he needs to decompress (p 112-113). He recognizes this as a negative side effect of viewing the material.’

    That just CHILLS ME. To the BONE. And, I KNOW THAT LOOK, too. I see it every day.

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